You gave up on me when you stopped needing me.
The more comfortable I get with my body, the more I feel more non binary than anything. All I know is that I’m not female, but I’m not sure I’m completely male either. Sometimes I feel in the middle, more toward male, but most of the time I feel like no gender at all. I still hate being called she though and prefer he, him, his pronouns.
It’s interesting the way we evolve. I remember having crazy bottom dysphoria and now I don’t have it quite as bad. I used to want to fit into the male expectations of society. Now I want to get away from those expectations as much as possible. I like my body feeling like a mix, not one gender or the other, which is how I feel now that I’ve had top surgery. My body is finally feeling like home.
I got misgendered for the first time in awhile the other day. Over a year on T, top surgery, and still misgendered. It kinda makes me want to rip my stupid feminine face off. Cutting my hair short tomorrow because longer hair makes my face more feminine. I think this only happens when I let my hair grow out (hopefully)
Unfinished for now